a day of homesickness

this morning, i woke up homesick. i had a really strange dream about my family, where joel was actually 5 years old, and i hadn't been home for 4 years or something. the rest of the family was intact, except that joel wasn't really joel, he/she was joelle, and she was a 5 year old genius. i remember she came crawling (i dun know why she's still crawling at 5!) to me, but spoke in perfect english, asking if i was carol jie-jie. i was really surprised that she knew i even existed was quite affectionate. in reality, i really dun think joel (who's about 1.5 years) will have any idea as to who i am and he'll prob cry (or cen prob run away now) if i try to get too close. i think it's time to go home, because people grow up/older and things change.

i try not to feel homesick and head to work. i dunno how the week has passed and it's friday again. the office is exceptionally quiet - lots of pple are on summer holiday this week. met ben koh for lunch and talked about singapore again, and school and the usual. it's been a long time since i've thought about smu, and i'm not sure if i'll be able to cope next term.

the highlight of my day was my mid-term appraisal. again, i can't believe 5 weeks has eclipsed and i'm halfway through my stint. it was a good appraisal, which went much better than i had anticipated, and left me realising that things could turn out in the next few months that would take me away from home again in the not so distant future. i ponder a bit about this prospect but i really have to seek God's will because i had never planned for any of this to happen.

the appraisal also gave me a sense of finality, and i felt that my time left here is quite short, so i went shopping after work. by the way most people left by 6pm, it was nearly a ghost-town. got to my favourite store at knightsbridge and bought stuff for the pple at work. the kind to give pple in appreciation of their kindness on my last day kinda thing, you know. i felt almost as if i was leaving next week.

came back to have 'lak cheong and egg' cooked by my housemate, and i thought of my ah gong, cos he's almost the only person i remember who cooks 'lak cheong'. i wonder how he's doing now? chatted for quite a bit about the singaporean education system and whole bias towards overseas grads thing. who knows, our conversation might get featured in the papers back home.

when i stepped into my room, there was a postcard sitting on my table - all the way from good ol' singapore, sent by good ol' luyi. (thanks so much babe! yup it's super cute but i dun get that spanish connection at all! anyway, please take a rest after all that crazy euro-tripping and help me with school prep etc! hee hee :p)

i almost felt like taking out my luggage to start packing, but that will be a little too early, ain't it?
i think i shall just go to sleep and try and dream about home more. but wake up tomorrow and head to cambridge instead. i need to start touristing around UK, because i'm heading home soon...