Keep Calm and Carry On

To the unhappy Singaporeans back home, I offer a leaf out of British propaganda:

This poster was first published during World War II, apparently to boost morale. Many say it describes the stiff British character, always unfazed. As a Londoner I have sub-consciously learnt to adopt this sort of a mentality as well. Yes the tube breaks down all the time, it is always delayed for indefinite amount lengths of time and there's always a lame excuse for it (signal failures, person taken ill or even person under train), a tube strike is planned on boxing day, fares go up by 5-7% every year. When i first came here only a couple of years back, a single journey cost £1.50, now it cost £1.90, and in the new year it will be £2. People talk about it, they even joke about it, but hardly anyone complains. People are late for work all the time - there is no mobile reception in the underground, some people have to walk through the dark 100-year old tunnels together with its ratty inhabitants to get out of the train. Everyone is way past that stage, people simply live with it and move on with their lives.

I agree that these things are irritating, annoying and frustrating. Especially in a society spoilt with the highest levels of efficiency where everyone is so self-important and perpetually busy.... but sometimes things don't always go our way. Maybe we are a victim of our own success and ambitions, perhaps the rapid expansion of the MRT system caused these knock-on effects. Bigger = more complex = more room for error? No one ever complains when everything is going fine and well, this is possibly a good time to stop, think and be thankful.

Well i guess I can say all that because i'm quite removed from it all. Not sure how I'd react if I were there, or if I never had the chance to witness for myself this "keep calm and carry on" attitude in a place where nothing works (by singaporean standards). But one thing I've been trying to learn is to complain less, and this is my resolution to take into 2012.

frivolous passions

i love watching musicals! but it is a pretty expensive passion, and sometimes just not worth it.

was so happy that getintolondontheatre finally opened yesterday. immediately booked "singing in the rain" and "the wizard of oz" for next year!

maybe i love discounts more.

the last musical was "crazy for you", with lw when he visited. it was nice, too american, but also had too much lost on me because i didn't know who gershwin was, or all his great songs. now i know some..

the 2nd last play was "driving miss daisy", supposedly an oscar-acclaimed film with a deeper theme of racism. again, it was too american, and i was just in a mighty foul mood that day. watched it with P, who is in london for a few months and really has endless energy i cannot keep up with.

a couple of nights ago, i watched a free play at the old vic, called "noises off" as i got some last min tickets. it was hilarious and was a play within a play with 3 acts.

so much for levelling up on the culture front! bring on the next 2 musicals next year. would really love to go for a ballet over Christmas since we're stuck in london anyway, but all the tickets to "the nutcracker" are sold out, and those that remain are out of the culture budget!

just thought i should pen this down before i forget that i'd ever done this (same reason i take photos). but actually, if it was so forgettable, then there prob was no point taking note anyway.

happy birthday daddy

Happy 52nd birthday daddy dearest!

Thought about the song below the days after the wedding - although most of it is not really reflective of us, it's still very sweet. and i still don't know what went through his head that whole day, or the moments before and during the walk down the aisle....

Butterfly kisses to you from london! :)

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride.""I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

Tomorrow, we marry

Never thought it'd be my turn to say this... suddenly, it's happening all too soon. the prep is more or less a disaster and i'm such a wreck from all the lack of sleep!

I will survive the day on sudafed and panadold. heh. as well as a lot of make-up and concealer.

But who cares?

Tomorrow, we start the rest of our lives together :)

highly strung

it's september! all alarm bells have gone off in my mind. recurring nightmares. boxes everywhere. stuff everywhere. disorganised excel sheets on the computer. frantic online shopping for all last minute items. ten million things still undone.

can't believe i'm becoming inefficient just as it matters most. it's all coming back to haunt me.

STRESS.

last weekend we were up in warwick clearing out his room and moving everything back down to london. even that was so stressful. but we did try to have some fun in between, like spending an afternoon at warwick castle, which is really an atypical castle for kids who dream of living in the middle ages... that was just last weekend, but it now feels like a whole lifetime ago. so much happens everyday, and there's so much more to be done it is all so overwhelming.

last night i had a surprise mini hen party at a lebanese restaurant. it was lovely and i honestly felt so touched that people i'm not even that close to actually bothered to put something together, and went to quite great lengths in effort and cash. i'm so grateful for the night but i could have done better.

ahead of me lies 2 more weeks of work, with a team that has shrunk rapidly in the last weeks. we had 7 at the beginning of the year, by mid-year there were 5, last week, there was 3.5, and for the next week, 2.5.... doesn't really help when the night job gets more and more demanding and i haven't slept before 1am in a long time....!

this week also marks the last in this flat - the one that the Omnipotent led me to when still fresh off the boat, and which has provided some comfort and quality of life for over 2 years now. but somehow i'm quite glad to get out, and i don't even have time to be sentimental about the whole thing.

i wish i didn't have to sleep. i wish i had time to go to the gym so i can get into the stupid dress (i don't even want to wear it anymore...!) i wish i didn't have to work so i can do this night job full-time and in the day. i wish some people would be more responsible. i wish i wasn't moving house though frankly i had quite enough of this place. i almost wish it was I who got laid off last week, though that will bring with it a host of worse problems.

BUT

i know i have a very supportive and loving family, who are actually helping a lot already and it's just me holding things up. i know that we kinda asked for this. i know we are very blessed to have a fabulous place to live in without even having to look. i know this is just a wedding and the marriage is more important. i know worrying doesn't solve anything, neither does crying or pretending to be sick so I don't have to go to work (no i wouldn't even do that because it's not as if the work disappears; it just waits, like a dog for its master, grr...woof!). i know we will get through this somehow.

i know all these but the situation on the ground isn't good. shoot me now :(