Bonfire night - 5 Nov 2013

I love fireworks. Not quite sure what it is about them but I find the burst of colour and light quite spectacular. Casting back my mind's eye to my first bonfire night in 2009, when I braved the cold to get to Southwark Park for the fireworks display, and was so impressed that it lasted at least a good 20 minutes. Between then and now, I have been thoroughly spoilt - 2 weddings with fireworks, new year's eve, and since moving to this apartment, a panoramic view of fireworks displays across London especially on NYE and 5th of Nov. As the clock strikes 12 on 1 Jan, it is quite cool to see all the fireworks displays going up at once all over London. As for bonfire night, well, the celebrations start the weekend before...

This evening though, as I was looking out the window in the relative warmth and comfort of home, I wondered what the next Bonfire night would hold for us. Will we still be in London? Will we be pushing a stroller somewhere in the cold trying to join in one of the bonfire night displays? Or will we just get sick and tired of the whole fanfare? What kind of child will this be?

Anyway, it's 67 days to go, and just 7.5 weeks until I can stop work... including christmas, hurray! time to start doing some serious shopping...

On another note, we did it!!! One of the crazy things I have always wanted to do is to just book a holiday on a whim, and today we booked a weekend trip to Barcelona for this weekend! It will be a crazy travel weekend, but really looking forward to escaping somewhere warm!

highly strung

it's september! all alarm bells have gone off in my mind. recurring nightmares. boxes everywhere. stuff everywhere. disorganised excel sheets on the computer. frantic online shopping for all last minute items. ten million things still undone.

can't believe i'm becoming inefficient just as it matters most. it's all coming back to haunt me.

STRESS.

last weekend we were up in warwick clearing out his room and moving everything back down to london. even that was so stressful. but we did try to have some fun in between, like spending an afternoon at warwick castle, which is really an atypical castle for kids who dream of living in the middle ages... that was just last weekend, but it now feels like a whole lifetime ago. so much happens everyday, and there's so much more to be done it is all so overwhelming.

last night i had a surprise mini hen party at a lebanese restaurant. it was lovely and i honestly felt so touched that people i'm not even that close to actually bothered to put something together, and went to quite great lengths in effort and cash. i'm so grateful for the night but i could have done better.

ahead of me lies 2 more weeks of work, with a team that has shrunk rapidly in the last weeks. we had 7 at the beginning of the year, by mid-year there were 5, last week, there was 3.5, and for the next week, 2.5.... doesn't really help when the night job gets more and more demanding and i haven't slept before 1am in a long time....!

this week also marks the last in this flat - the one that the Omnipotent led me to when still fresh off the boat, and which has provided some comfort and quality of life for over 2 years now. but somehow i'm quite glad to get out, and i don't even have time to be sentimental about the whole thing.

i wish i didn't have to sleep. i wish i had time to go to the gym so i can get into the stupid dress (i don't even want to wear it anymore...!) i wish i didn't have to work so i can do this night job full-time and in the day. i wish some people would be more responsible. i wish i wasn't moving house though frankly i had quite enough of this place. i almost wish it was I who got laid off last week, though that will bring with it a host of worse problems.

BUT

i know i have a very supportive and loving family, who are actually helping a lot already and it's just me holding things up. i know that we kinda asked for this. i know we are very blessed to have a fabulous place to live in without even having to look. i know this is just a wedding and the marriage is more important. i know worrying doesn't solve anything, neither does crying or pretending to be sick so I don't have to go to work (no i wouldn't even do that because it's not as if the work disappears; it just waits, like a dog for its master, grr...woof!). i know we will get through this somehow.

i know all these but the situation on the ground isn't good. shoot me now :(

the ironies of life at 23

so many things to look forward to, but so many things to do before i get there.

too few hours to have, and yet too many wasted...

"the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing" - Josh Harris

it doesn't hurt when you've spent the last 2 years thinking you're 24, but are still barely there after 2 years.

Addicted.

to online shopping. argh

I never thought i'd live to see the day... i see the merits sometimes, esp when there's free delivery and free returns. it's cheaper than going to the shop (£1.80 to get to town and another £1.80 to come home). it's faster, and 24/7.....

my massive boots order just arrived today (boots is a pharmacy btw.... heh). the box was so heavy the concierge had to help me carry it to the flat. haha... i didn't even ask, he volunteered! how nice is that. i now have a whole year's supply of shampoo, conditioner, soap and cotton wool. i think. i don't even think i need 8 bottles of soap for 1 year (half price). or 6 bottles of shampoo & conditioner (buy 1 get 1 free). but i kinda convinced myself that it's much easier to have them deliver everything so that i don't have to carry everything back. of course, there was the "spend £50, get £12 worth of points" which makes it even more attractive. to be fair, i will offload some of these stuff to D when i next see him so that he can help to use.

but then again, they just had ANOTHER round of that same offer the week before, and i also succumbed. i bought foundation 4 shades too dark for my skin and got scolded by the skin specialist at the clinique counter today when i went to get it exchanged, haha. but it was >20% off, plus another £7.50 of points.

i also think i have enough boots points for all my shopping there for the next year. heh. at least £50 worth. and i just found out that i can get boots points by shopping at asos too! HAHA, it's never ending. you can literally buy anything online in this country. i have never done more online shopping in my whole life than this year alone. tsk. i even bought a whole camera (my Canon S90) from ebay for £250 when it was $800+ in singapore.

(of course, this post only shows that i am super auntie, for i neglect to talk about all the virtual shops i visit too. let's just keep it that way for now.)

the last step i have not degenerated to is grocery shopping online. and the only thing stopping me is the lack of free delivery because of the special refrigerated trucks they use to deliver the stuff. the day will come (hopefully not, fingers crossed). but for now, i shall continue to carry cartons of milk etc physically back home. Afterall, I don't think I could buy a year's supply of milk, can I? :p

i need therapy! not the retail sort....

Rainy Days and Sundays

always get me down. (badly misquoting the Carpenters)

it's so depressing when I take ages to get to church and after 2 buses and 2 trains, i'm still late. and then, repeat 4 times every sunday. the journey really stresses me out. i estimate a total of about 5 hours every sunday spent feeling sick on the public transport network, bleah.

today was especially bad, because the jubilee line was down (again) and it started pouring after church so I was entirely drenched. I guess the lack of daylight makes it worse because when i was on the DLR going to church at 5+pm, the operator was asking some people if they had far to go before getting home, and i was actually travelling AWAY from home, knowing full well that I have to come back the same way. in the night, coming home after YF, it was freezing cold too, winter's just depressing. i also forgot to tap my oyster card when i got off the DLR today, so i incurred another £4.30 penalty charge on top of my already maxed out my day's travel (£6.30 or something like that?)in the 1st half of the day.

it's remembrance Sunday today, maybe it's meant to be a sober and sad day anyways.

i also don't really like having dinner at 10pm on Sunday nights and then sleeping late and starting Monday feeling really crabby.

therefore, i REALLY need to find a solution, and i need a solution fast. this is driving me crazy. every week i feel more and more like giving up.

in other news, work has been stressful too. it's appraisal season - i meant to write my appraisal over the weekend but never got down to it. there are also a million refinancings. why do all companies decide to do the same thing all at the same time, grrr. and project por cu pine flopped, it was just announced :(

3.5 more weeks to finish up for the year. come on Carol, time to man up. :( SO MUCH WORK.

Rainy days and Mondays will get me down-er. so it better not rain tomorrow!

Overnight Rice

So there has been rice left in the ricepot since either Saturday or Sunday night (today is Thurs).

I have been reluctant to clear it, and I didn't cook rice the first few days anyway, but apparently, neither did she.

Yesterday (Wed), we had a short exchange:
She-who-must-not-be-named: Oh you're cooking! Can you help me cook some rice?
Me (straightly): There is already rice in the ricepot.
SWMNBN: hee hee, oh mine ah? I think spoil already, I better clear.
Me: I'm not cooking rice.

Today (Thurs), 24 hours later. The rice is still in there, not forgetting the rice scoop which has a couple of grains of rice on it...

In better news, it's her last night here! Tomorrow she moves out, though her things remain for 3 more weeks.... ADIOS.

Not sure what the new girl will bring, but one can only hope for the best (though I'm actually not that hopeful based on a couple of encounters.) But nvm, it's only 1 year, I must survive.

Those things I thinks.

Those Housing Agents from a very reputable firm called Knight Frank, they can't seem to get my surname or address right even after a whole year, and they want to charge me to renew my contract! Blatant daylight robbery and sheer incompetency, I say. Makes my blood boil every time I get an email from them.

Those Singaporean gatherings I used to go for, I can't really bring myself to go for them anymore and be all fake. I don't know if they are friends or not. Helps that they now love putting things on Sundays and I can't go anyway.

Those countless packets of frozen salmon, lost in the ice in in my frozen freezer, what shall I do with them? They need me to defrost the freezer before they can repair it. Maybe I'll make lots and lots of fish pie this weekend.

Those time slots I try to set aside, be they for exercise, sleep or quiet time, where do they go? I think I do set them aside, but only in my head; and a cobweb now covers that recess in my brain.

Those tickets I bought for Paintball this Saturday. I need 3 more people. Either I have no friends such that I can't think of anyone to ask, or I'm being way too choosy.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Looks like it's not enough to just think those things.