wanna be a professional sportswoman?

Dear baby,

At the rate you are going, it looks like we are in for big trouble when you finally meet us. You have been moving non-stop day and night, with seemingly no pattern whatsoever. More so in the last week, when you movements became strong enough for daddy to feel them himself! Keep moving tho, I quite like it, because then I know you're OK. It also reminds me of myself, always on the move, but don't become like me though!

Today was a big day for us. We saw you on the ultrascan - your little feet, long legs, little nose and face. In a somewhat skeletal form... But no matter, it's amazing how you have grown, what a miracle of life, praise God!

We also found out more about you today, that your daddy has gifted you the x chromosome, so you are a girl! I think he is over the moon, because he had always wished for a little girl but dared not hope for one. He had already named you years before you were even conceived, but of course that's a secret for the rest of the world. I guess this is a tiny little bit like God naming and electing His children before the foundation of the world, except He has perfect knowledge of everything.

Straight after the hospital appointment I went to the office (you made me miss a client meeting, but it was definitely worth it). Then I told my boss L about you. I was so scared that he would take it badly because he's quite a workaholic, but thank God for guiding him to react in a contrary manner! I even saw the human side of him then. What a relief, but its not over and I have to keep hiding you for another few days or week. There is another boss, and the rest of the office to tell... Now I'm confident that God will see me through this, because you are a gift from him in the first place!

Enough for today, but hopefully see you again soon, in Singapore! We are flying next week, I hope you are used you planes by now!

Till then, keep on moving, don't stop moving.... xxx

Did you ever talk to God above?

Did you ever talk to God above?

Tell Him that you need a friend to love.

Pray in Jesus’ name believing

that God answers prayer.

Have you told Him all your cares and woes?

Ev’ry tiny little fear He knows.

You can know He’ll always hear

And He will answer prayer.

You can whisper in a crowd to Him.

You can cry when you’re alone to Him.

You don’t have to pray out loud to Him;

He knows your thoughts.

On a lofty mountain peak, He’s there.

In a meadow by a stream, He’s there.

Anywhere on earth you go,

He’s been there from the start.

Find the answer in His Word; it’s true.

You’ll be strong because He walks with you.

By His faithfulness He’ll change you, too.

God answers prayer.

This has always been one of my favourite Sunday School songs. I've now decided that this will be our song (hear that, sista?) 

Now to keep singing it for the next 8 years, and more...gladly!

funny old men

Funny incident which I'd probably still find funny in years to come...

A church choir was started late last year. Obviously with the size of the church the way it is, I thought it'd be better to join. I'm fact I was quite excited about it at the beginning, because the demographics of the church are such that 90℅ of attendees are African or Caribbean, so I naturally expected the famed natural singing talent would prevail. Moreover when choosing the first song I would told to make sure there would be 4 parts - SATB. 

Anyway, it was tough-going. We managed 2 parts for the Christmas piece and the Easter piece, following which I found them the easiest 2-past choral arrangement I could fine,  and still it took us about 3 months to master there song. We are now on to a slightly more challenging, but still easy 3-part piece. I guess the lovely thing about this group is that they are all pretty advanced in age, let's just say half are retirees and the rest a good 10 years ahead of me, and no one has any musical training. Teaching the, a warm-up of singing numbers from 1 to 10 was hard enough, forget anything fancy. Thank God for teaching me patience through this, and for being able to demand less than perfection.

Last Sunday was a sectional practice for the men, and by that I mean all 3 men of the choir. First they locked me out for a good 10 mins, completely oblivious to the persistent doorbell. Then they didn't know the melody of what I thought was a popular hymn. And it was a lot of effort just teaching 8 lines (6 of which had the same tune). It didn't help that the the sun was blazing outside, temperatures were soaring and the fan didn't ventilate the piano area, so I was shouting instructions (otherwise they can't hear), singing (1 person louder than 3), repeating my instructions over and over again before I'm understood. It was boiling hot, halfway through, I couldnt stand anymore and had to sit on the piano bench.. I somehow managed to continue the practice and they couldn't see me or see that anything was wrong, which was fine. 5 mins from the time I would normally end the practice I felt super faint. And I've done so enough times before to know it was really going to happen. So I abruptly called the practice to a halt and said i was feeling a little light-headed... and the next thing that happened is either funny or tragic (I choose the former)... They started apologising profusely for not getting their parts and said they would get it with some practice, promising to improve by the next time! Hilarious!!! Even after I said it was nothing to do with them and everything to do with the heat they continued... So I just left it as that. I'm not sure if they eventually got the point! 

These dear old friends are so funny sometimes :)

BTW I'm not complaining about the hard work or state of the choir. I think its a precious experience- back home we've taken musicality for granted and in fact we don't even use our God-given talents to our best ability; whereas here these folk have zero background and are really trying hard to understand and learn. It is such a privilege to be able to work with them and serve the Lord in some capacity. Also gives me great excuse to import choral scores from the USA and a chance to work those diaphragms again after 4 years of silence. 

invisalign, be gone

just 1 more week until i see the dentist again!!! currently on refinement aligner 8 of 8, yay :) teeth are not perfect, but probably as good as they would be... then follows the removal of those horrible attachments (which actually makes invisalign NOT invisible), and then the free teeth whitening treatment! of course the retainers will come, but wearing them to sleep is a piece of cake after wearing mouth guard equivalents day in and day out! in any case it's probably a good protection against night time teeth grinding, which i allegedly (used to) do. 

when everything is done and dusted, i will have to write a full review of the experience and results, if only to make my money's worth. 

gone also, will be my no snacking in the day rule, because it was simply too troublesome to eat more then 3 meals a day. this is not bode well for my general diet, health or size, but there is always the option of healthy snacking, maybe? 

the countdown begins, and the end is nigh, 3 cheers! 

four years and counting

took me a while to figure out the actual date i stepped off the boat. turned out that it was july 13, 2009, which makes it 4 years and 2 days. now long past my initial 2-3 year horizon, i'm kinda in no man's land - not quite a newbie in this vast city anymore, but also not quite a proper resident (that comes after 5 years, as all immigrants know). 

i must have mentioned this before, but a little over 4 years ago, as I was lingering around the family home, i thought to myself that i might never return to this same home the same way again. and how true that turned out to be. now married, fat(ter) and on my second job, i have inevitably moved on. in fact, i will never be the same person i was again. of course, everyone grows up and is shaped by the circumstances around. people learn different things in different ways.

for some reason, i have always deliberately chosen to learn things the hard way. i wouldn't dare go as far as to say that my life has been a difficult one. nay, far from it, and i must not take for granted the multitude of privileges i have enjoyed. yet, for some reason, it's almost as if i love putting myself in complicated situations. case in point is this recent job move - it seemed as if all the signs were pointing to the fact that i should not take it, but in my heart of hearts, i knew that it would be more of a life choice than a career choice. now safely on the other side (not even safe because i haven't even received my first pay cheque!), i still cannot decide if it was the best thing to do. But the wonderful thing about these situations is that I know that i would have fallen into a trap at some point if not for the fact that there is One who covers these dangers and makes the path straight (in a rather crooked way, if you know what i mean).

anyway, so event after event, year after year, people come and people go, family grow up and older and home, all your friends get married and have kids, and I am well and truly disconnected. whatsapp is only good to a small extent and facetime, forget it there is no appropriate time difference. but these are all excuses, underneath it all the judge of all these relationships is effort. and i have fallen terribly short in that department. perhaps i'm now paying the price, or perhaps it will also be a measure of how deep friendships run (they say the best kind of friendships are the kind where you can pick up right where you left off, anytime.... but i might be pushing the "anytime" factor a bit here).     

right now, i quite miss home, and i can't wait to be back in september, after a whole 21 months. i need to brace myself for some shocks and changes (well all my colleagues have been to singapore more recently than i have and i have no idea what they are talking about with all the new developments). but somewhere somehow, i know that london has now become such an integral part of me, something i'm not sure i can give up easily. but one more important thing i've learnt, is something that i've always known from the cross-stitch that hung at home in singapore - that home, is where the heart is. can the heart be in more than one place at a time? i believe so, and i think the 4 years have made me feel at home in london where my life and immediate family are, whilst my upbringing will always make me feel at home in singapore where my roots, family, friends and affections lie. 

what confused thoughts...