Knowing the end from the beginning...

Apologies for the rather emo nature of this post, haha. it's the last week of school now, and i mean, LAST, for the rest of my life. I can't really decide how to feel: a bit of excitement, a bit of nostalgia, some regret, and plenty of anxiety. Not sure if i'm overplaying the significance of this last week but I don't really want it to slip by (like all the other 15*7 weeks) and not take a moment to think about it all. 

lately i've been really worried, for the first time, and arguably too belatedly, about my faltering GPA. i have no idea why it is that only at the end of it all then i start to notice how close i am to attainment of an academic accolade. kinda regret that i didn't put in sufficient effort in the past semesters that i might now have to live with that narrow miss for the rest of my life. but it's too late for regrets now, and it's never time to worry, because why should i, if God already knows the outcome, and He knows that it's best for me? at the end of the day, i guess i've to ask myself if this pursuit for academic pride, glory, or to say that i've fulfilled my vocation and did the best i could to glorify His name (because i know i could have have a lot better?)  

I believe that all things will work out for good. good does not mean I will get what i want, but I will have what i need. sufficient for me - the way He meant it to be. Truly, i've already experienced more mercies than i deserve on this academic journey - can i still doubt its availability? Shall i not rather rest in the peace of the knowledge that the One who knows the end from the beginning will bring whatever He deems fit to pass? all these are but head knowledge - so difficult to translate to heart knowledge... herein lies the test, and the challenge. Give me grace, and greater faith. 

1. All the way my Savior leads me,
   What have I to ask beside?
   Can I doubt His tender mercy,
   Who through life has been my Guide?
   Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
   Here by faith in Him to dwell!
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well;
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well.
2. All the way my Savior leads me,
   Cheers each winding path I tread,
   Gives me grace for every trial,
   Feeds me with the living Bread.
   Though my weary steps may falter
   And my soul athirst may be,
   Gushing from the Rock before me,
   Lo! A spring of joy I see;
   Gushing from the Rock before me,
   Lo! A spring of joy I see.

tour of singapore: National Orchid Garden (with a very cool model!)

19 March 2009

We were supposed to go to botanic gardens for a surprise picnic to celebrate Karen's 18th birthday. Sharon and I wanted to bring joel and chloe, who wanted to bring shermin, which then made it necessary for aunty carrie to come along, who also brought sean and sheryl, who then called sayuri. and ah ma decided to come along too. 

we finally arrived at botanic gardens, after a long-drawn process of trying to get karen out of the house first before we could pack everything. It was a long long walk to the amphiteatre, where we were supposed to lay in ambush. This is the first time i'm visiting the gardens again after a good 5-6 years, and it really does look slightly different. It was ah ma's first time there too, and along the walk, she commented (in hokkien), 'what's there to see here? all grass and trees...' 

until...

we went by the national orchid garden and it seemed that we were still quite early. I offered to go in with Ah ma, since it was free for students during the school holidays. it costs $5 for adults, so mummy stayed out and handled the kids. 

in we went, it was quite big, and surprisingly, it was a very pleasant and colourful experience. there really was a large variety of orchids and some other plants too, and i think my grandmother really loves flowers. i tried to make her pose for pictures and it was personal satisfaction when i got one with a smiling face, haha. 

a bit about the place: It is located in the western end of the botanic gardens, and is about maybe 6-7 acres. There are over 1000 species and 2000 hybrids in the collection, and the landscaping is very well-done. there was also a section for VIP orchids, where special breeds were presented to visiting dignitaries and an 'orchidarium', which housed the more exotic species i believe. 

here are some pictures:

at the entrance... i really wanted a picture of the 2 of us and the background by my arms weren't long enough...

so i got a random schoolboy to help us, but he did a terrible job... the above is edited, and still quite bad. heh. so i gave up and decided to be the photographer from hence on...

touching the petals and telling me about how the orchid is one of the hardiest flowers around, and what some of the other plants in the garden were for... 

i made her go into this huge birdcage thingy... part of the rather interesting landscaping.

plus, there was a big photo sign, which means, 'TAKE YOUR TOURISTY PICTURE HERE'. so we did.

presenting... the national flower of singapore... vanda miss jochaim...!

inside the orchidarium, there were interesting breeds... 

this was like 5 mins after mum called to tell us to get out of there cos karen was coming... we were trying to find the exit, and saw this mirror. some quick thinking resulted in this, but we were kinda still moving so it's blur... wasted :|  she was very amused indeed.

my ah ma is so cute, half way through, she whipped out her handphone from her handbag and told me to take a picture of her and the flowers, but i didn't know how to read the chinese words so i couldnt figure out how to activate the camera, so i used my phone instead. just put the photos onto her phone just now, it's proudly sitting on both her's and my ah gong's phone desktops! :)

i wonder when this liking for purple started. aunty carrie likes purple too, so does sharon.

anyway, bottom line is, it was a very fruitful day, i came out very happy, and it's been a long time since a buck has gone such a long way... :) 

i <3>

some of the other photos from that day are here: 

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=96649&id=692471387

SUPER-marketing!

i love going to supermarkets! maybe cos i love buying food - or just food in general. 

i think this was developed back in an ulu town called Sandusky in Ohio, USA, where the huge wal-mart and meijers offered a lot more than our daily necessity - bying junk food (betty crocker's brownie mix, ben and jerry's for $2.45 a tub, etc) brought much comfort, and so did our shopping trips which usually only happened at midnight when we were all free and the mall was empty. i never really thought about how unsafe it was to be out so late at night, how naive. Thank God for His unfailing protection though i didn't even think to ask for it.   

on exchange, this supermarket obsession turned to a hunt for the best bargains for the staples. Having supermakets near our home was one of the main criteria, and we landed in a place with about 4 supermarkets within walking distance. I distinctly remember the layouts of the aldi downstairs, the netto near church and the føtex opposite school. I think we went to the supermarket almost every day, it was kinda kua1 zhang1 we would always buy rice, eggs, ham, sausages, corn flakes, sugar and milk. those were more or less what we ate everyday.  

went with the parents 2 sundays ago to NTUC and i quite enjoyed it. actually, i think going to NTUC was one of the "second" things (after the first things) i did after coming back to singapore. haha, i know, so auntie. 

anyway i was craving a bratwurst just now, so i trooped downstairs to giant and came back with quite a lot of things. oops. bought mustard too, which we never have at home. my mum scolded me for being extravagant but i don't do this all the time....... 

A normal day which will soon cease to be

this was written on thurs on my handphone, and i just never found the time to put it up, so here it is (warning: boring post ahead, unless your name is sharon or debbie :p)

Yesterday was a rather normal school day. As usual, i couldn't wake up, despite the fact that class was at 12. Rushed to school, as usual, bursting through the door something like 10 mins late. Luyi, chian and I took longer than was given for break, having had to check out one of the first successful bazaars in the concourse. Alas, the queue for Ramley Burger was too long n not only did I not get the burger in the end, I was late, for the 2nd time that day. What a disaster!

Met debbie at 315, in a valiant attempt to keep to our weekly wed meet-up after we stopped taking at least 1 class together abt a yr and a half ago. She was attacking the international fair, and I would soon find out her intentions...

We checked out the photo booth. "Flaunt it", it was called; for me it will probably be one of the last times i get to flaunt my student status for special student deals. We made plans to return today to get a resume photo taken. I say "plans", because that's what we always do initially, with noble resolves to stick to them, but we both knew that things change all the time, as we would later see...

I then found out about the free international buffet / potluck - the requirement was to visit 4 booths to get 4 stickers to be eligible... Now we know why debbie was attempting a quiz on vietnam when i found her... She already had 2 stickers, so we needed 2 more. (we rationalised tt we could share e stickers, or the food.) She simply brought me to e same 2 booths to do e exact same things she did, and then we shamelessly went for the food. Yes I guess it's true that we would only do such cheapo things together... :) the corner we chose to hide our faces while we ate turned out to be not much of a corner, and we were spotted by asilah, joan, eugene, weeleng and yangwei. Owells.

Headed to the gym(!), for the 2nd time this year and probably the 5th time in the lasy 4 years. Earlier this semester i decided that i should make use of what remaining short time I have left in SMU to fully utilise the "state-of-the-art" facilities. Alas! One doesn't turn from an absolute gym-hater to a gym freak overnight, and I only lasted 25 mins on the cardio machine. The TV shows were boring and no matter how fast I tried to go my heart refused to beat faster to my "target" heartrate of 180. Guess my mind told my legs tt I was too unfit and so it didn't go too fast. Nonetheless, i was sufficiently tired and bored watching channel 5 I decided to call it a day, or half hour, depending on how u look at it. Was looking forward to a shower in the nice showers but found that I had forgotten my toiletries! To think i spent way too long packing them in the morning, resulting in my being late for class! Sigh! Figured that i was going home anyway, i didn't really need to shower... Haha. I mean, since when have I showered after smelly hockey trainings, or muddy frisbee training for that matter?

Met sharon @ raffles city and she gave me a ride back on her shiny black vespa. It's only my 2nd time pillioning behind her and I was quite scared (the 1st isn't even counted cos it was within cck!). Going up the circular ramp of the carpark was bad enough, but being overtaken by another motorbike while already being in between 2 cars was too much of a close shave for me. When that guy went by he was literally 3 cm away! and then, while still on the BKE, the inevitable occurred - it started to rain. Sharon rode into the shoulder where many other bikers were busy putting on raincoats, and guess what - she changed out of her moccasins into slippers. Shoes, we love our shoes way too much... Haha. We didn't bother with the raincoat (there's only 1 anyway)because we were almost home and the rain wasn't tt heavy anyway. But still, it was funny.

Much later that night, at like 345am, while I was still having my strat meeting online (which started at 930pm btw), i got a notification tt debbie had posted a video of me on facebook. memories of tt fateful drive into boston where our faithful car broke down and we had to abandon it. What on earth was she doing awake at 4am?!? She came on msn and we knew there and then that meeting today at 11am was impossible.

The time now is 2pm, and i'm standing in line for the photo thing, and waiting for debbie to turn up.

This is the story of our lives, for now.