Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Who is that girl I see...

...Staring straight back at me?

I think it must be a really scary feeling being new to mirrors. As I carry E in her favourite position, being upright against me, I cannot see her face and have to use the mirror to check what she's up to. I think I see a crazy, almost petrified, look in her eyes as she stares at the mirror, for I know she recognises me but then hears my voice come from a different direction. Worse, she sees a stranger, that is, herself, being carried in my arms. Of course she's too young to grasp the concept of mirrors, so this line from the Mulan song holds literal meaning for her. She doesn't recognise herself.

In another literal application, I look in the mirror and see double sometimes. I catch little expressions and actions that are exactly identical to mine own, but performed by my little girl. In fact, I think she looks a lot like me when I was little, but people who knew me when I was little don't seem to think so.

In deeper reflection, what have I become? A mother. The high calling that demands more, more and more. Thank God for seeing me through 3 whole months. On the monthsary we "celebrated" by having Indian takeaway for dinner, just like on the night E was born. Glad to report that we are all still alive and kicking (E more so than us) with no major ailment befallen yet! Watching her daily brings so much joy, that renders all the other troubles quite small. Cliché, but true.

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