today marks exactly 1 year in this country not as a tourist but a tax-paying resident.
my 1st week here was probably the best. i distinctly landing at heathrow at 5am on a Monday morning, and was surprised at how smoothly the baggage clearance went. hopped into the pre-booked cab, and i distinctly remember the strange of feeling of familiarity as the cab across the whole of central london, from west to east.
i remember the 1 day. arriving at sarah's and james' at about 7.30 in the morning. it was just another monday morning for them, and it wasnt time to wake up yet, but they dragged themselves out of bed and helped me to lug my heavy bags in, all 46kg. they then left me to sleep, which i did for a few hours. why not more, i don't know. i remember waking up thinking it was so surreal, and i didnt know what was ahead of me, or what i would do on the 1st day of a new life. but time went on, as it always does, and i found myself trying to take in the whole scene. i lazed around at home, still kinda jetlagged. i took a walk to the nearby roman road market, found an atm, and keyed in the 4 numbers making the pin i used to know quite well. thankfully it went through.
i remember the 1st night, when sarah and james got home, we had dinner and they said, "let's take a walk in the park after dinner". i couldnt believe my eyes - it was still bright as day at 9pm. the experience of the previous year seems quite a distant memory. within a year, sarah got mugged in the same park, and the length of day was shortened drastically.
people here are obsessed with the weather. the default weather is gloomy and bad. some days, it is good. and people REALLY cherish each day of sunshine in a way i've not quite appreciated. no ray of sunshine is spared and no inch of green grass uncovered when the sun was out. my days here have been like the weather - by default, quite dreary, lonely and mediocre. some days, i really think my dream of having an abundant life is going to come true. these are days when work goes well, and only takes place between the hours of 9am and 6pm. there is some time for shopping, cooking, exercising, and then relaxing - maybe reading a book or something. and i'd never be tired in the mornings because i'll go to bed early and have a full 8 hours. every night. but it was not to be, the independent life has also brought a whole wave of issues i always classed too "grown up" for me.
in the space of a year, i learnt about putting a roof over my head, and making sure it's functional all the time.
i also learnt that if you don't think about what you're going to put on the table, there's just going to be nothing there. period.
i learnt that dealing with people is the trickiest of skills to master, and that i should never expect people to treat me the same way i treat them, or i'll be disappointed. it is a lot easier to have a generous and "forgetful" heart, and never expect anything in return, then i might be pleasantly surprised once or twice. but i've also learnt that not every one you speak to on a daily basis automatically become friends. in fact, there is a time and place to be selective and to keep a distance.
i learnt that there is no room for falling ill in this country, and no one to fuss over me when i am, and it would be horrible. so i learnt to listen to my body and know when i'm coming down with something - and tackle it then. thank God there has been nothing full-blown yet.
i learnt that money has an unimaginable grip on people and can turn them into beasts. i re-learned that there is no profit for man to give anything in exchange for his soul. i learnt that the wager on the soul is so great, and the financial industry is a terrible industry to be in this respect. too much interaction with billions of dollars is not a good gauge of the real world. i need to stop adding letter abbreviations after a string of numbers.
i have learnt that self-pity doesn't get me anywhere. some things does not require any emotions, just get up and get on with it. it is an unfeeling world out there, and the other 6.999m other people in this city probably doesnt even know i exist.
i learnt that no one is going to tell me what I did wrong or right. only i am accountable to God and God alone. there's no point leading the superficial life and meaningless "eat, drink and be merry" life, like so many people do.
in so many ways i'm still the same old me, still can't stand inefficiency, still wanting to do way too many things, and still getting myself into situations i can't get out of.
but in a myriad of other ways i'm a new me, learning something new everyday, not just about me, but about life.
what a difference a year makes, and i survived!
Thank You God!
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