i want to say something but i dun really know what to say. in a really weird mood now. maybe i woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. (but there are no sides, only stairs)
i had a really weird dream (which i actually remembered). won't go into the weird details, but it was situated in my old house. i had a really weird attitude, cos i really didn't want to go to school, so i dilly-dallied, and naturally, i was late. like, quite very late. was doubly late when i got back to class late after break. what a useless lesson.
was in a weird mood all throughout training. was quite excited abt it at first, but when it poured at about 1pm i was quite turned off. but i went anyway, and it went so so bad. i think im just not patient enough. and i get irritated way too easily. tried to handle again today cos i couldnt cut or catch for some weird reason. was quite happy with myself tho i was quite lost most of the time, and i was so scared that sebas would scream at me cos i dunno what to do. heh. handling is quite fun, and slack. but i guess i'm still stuck as a normal cutter in a real game, so i better get some sticky pads on my fingers.
but, like bren the top drawer, i can compartmentalise too! hence, i'm the bottom drawer. the only problem, is that i refuse to get out of the mood i'm in, cos it kinda gives me a license to slack as well. which is no good, cos i do have lots of things to do.
ok, it's weird how my sister is asking me stuff about grade 5 theory when i cant remember a thing! i took it in like primary 6, hello! my music is really bad now, i dunno what key everything's in. terrible. and jj's always scolding me for turning perfectly sad minor songs in happy major songs. yikes.
sigh, is this how it is to emo?
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
on a failing memory
this post is dedicated to sebas, for reminding me how forgetful i am. and for forcing me to think of examples that prove my point.
first, the conversation:
sebas says:
okok.... i will call adidas tmr... remind me if i havnt do so by the time i meet u
lorac says:
ok ill try heh
lorac says:
i have a worse memory than u i think
sebas says:
based on what do u say tt?
sebas says:
u r quite ok what
lorac says:
haha i forget a lot of things
lorac says:
cant quote an eg now
lorac says:
but im sure i do
sebas says:
haha.. i think ur explanation proved it then?
lorac says:
er haha yeah true
ok these are some of the things i forgot today:
1. i forgot about fcm today. happily went off after class and headed to carl's jr for breakfast/lunch/dinner. it was only after getting into the train that i received esther's msg asking if i was coming. and i intended to go actually, cant believe i forgot.
2. this morning i woke up thinking i could sleep in, and i did. totally forgot about FT until it was quite late. actually i forgot that i forgot to wake up, until i was talking to jiamin and remembered. and actually i forget my dreams the moment i wake up...
3. u know, the thing that you said i said in the beg of the term, haha see i dun remember what it is anymore!
4. our anniversary. (no no, not sebas and i) but since i forget every month and year, might as well la.
5. more often than not, i'll promise to do something with the whole intention of fulfilling it, but it will conveniently slip my mind.
6. i really really can't remember what else i forget! and i'm really thinking very hard already...
*edited: oops i forgot that i said i wanted to only talk about things i forgot today, so 5 and 6 are out of point...argh*
ok, i'll try to remind you tomm, sebas. haha dun count on it, tho. i've a poor and failing memory. :
first, the conversation:
sebas says:
okok.... i will call adidas tmr... remind me if i havnt do so by the time i meet u
lorac says:
ok ill try heh
lorac says:
i have a worse memory than u i think
sebas says:
based on what do u say tt?
sebas says:
u r quite ok what
lorac says:
haha i forget a lot of things
lorac says:
cant quote an eg now
lorac says:
but im sure i do
sebas says:
haha.. i think ur explanation proved it then?
lorac says:
er haha yeah true
ok these are some of the things i forgot today:
1. i forgot about fcm today. happily went off after class and headed to carl's jr for breakfast/lunch/dinner. it was only after getting into the train that i received esther's msg asking if i was coming. and i intended to go actually, cant believe i forgot.
2. this morning i woke up thinking i could sleep in, and i did. totally forgot about FT until it was quite late. actually i forgot that i forgot to wake up, until i was talking to jiamin and remembered. and actually i forget my dreams the moment i wake up...
3. u know, the thing that you said i said in the beg of the term, haha see i dun remember what it is anymore!
4. our anniversary. (no no, not sebas and i) but since i forget every month and year, might as well la.
5. more often than not, i'll promise to do something with the whole intention of fulfilling it, but it will conveniently slip my mind.
6. i really really can't remember what else i forget! and i'm really thinking very hard already...
*edited: oops i forgot that i said i wanted to only talk about things i forgot today, so 5 and 6 are out of point...argh*
ok, i'll try to remind you tomm, sebas. haha dun count on it, tho. i've a poor and failing memory. :
i would like to think that it's over
great, no more presentations for the term, and 3 classes to go. yay! so school's kinda over i guess. not counting the dreaded exams... which descends upon us like a plague in about 12 days... *shudders*
has anyone read 'why do men fall asleep after sex?'
it's book that fills u with useless information and takes up precious brain space at this time of the year. but it kept me from worrying about being so very late for class today. slept a record number of hours last night (like 9.5hrs!) but i still overslept cos i switched off my phone in my dreams and naturally, the alarm didn't go off. brilliant.
and i've totally exhausted all my formal wear and had nothing to wear for FT today. and now to to fret over next week's dine-out: what to do with my unacceptable hair, and attire. (anyone willing to lend me a skirt suit?)
but i need to rest. wherever and whenever. like now, maybe.
haha a random pic just to add more colour to my blog.
another record was set when i watched tv for like 1 hour just now- bits of the 9 o'clock channel 8 show, and the results of the arena, which adrian pang was taking so painfully long to announce. haha in the end, UWC won, beating all the local schools flat (it wasnt even a close fight, heh). haha what does that show?
in other unrelated matters, tomorrow we turn 5. and i totally forgot. OOPS. amidst the mad rush, i never got down to writing and sending the card that i got a long time ago. owellz. i'll keep it for next year i guess. : er, happy anniversay, dear-thanks for reminding me. *sheepish smile* oh but that's not what i would like to think as over, though.
has anyone read 'why do men fall asleep after sex?'
it's book that fills u with useless information and takes up precious brain space at this time of the year. but it kept me from worrying about being so very late for class today. slept a record number of hours last night (like 9.5hrs!) but i still overslept cos i switched off my phone in my dreams and naturally, the alarm didn't go off. brilliant.
and i've totally exhausted all my formal wear and had nothing to wear for FT today. and now to to fret over next week's dine-out: what to do with my unacceptable hair, and attire. (anyone willing to lend me a skirt suit?)
but i need to rest. wherever and whenever. like now, maybe.
haha a random pic just to add more colour to my blog.
another record was set when i watched tv for like 1 hour just now- bits of the 9 o'clock channel 8 show, and the results of the arena, which adrian pang was taking so painfully long to announce. haha in the end, UWC won, beating all the local schools flat (it wasnt even a close fight, heh). haha what does that show?
in other unrelated matters, tomorrow we turn 5. and i totally forgot. OOPS. amidst the mad rush, i never got down to writing and sending the card that i got a long time ago. owellz. i'll keep it for next year i guess. : er, happy anniversay, dear-thanks for reminding me. *sheepish smile* oh but that's not what i would like to think as over, though.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
the week that killed me
it's wednesday, and i'm officially dead. i think i've been wayy too slack this term, and i didn't take charge of my planning my own schedule. ended up with 2 presentations in week 12 and 1 in week 13. so this is retribution for all the slacking the last 11 weeks.
last weekend was pure madness, i'm rather proud of the fact that i survived it actually. but come to think of it, it's probably not by my own strength because i could never last so long. last week was pretty mad, but i still managed to sleep about 4-5 hours a day, which of cos left me feeling very drained towards the end of the week. *ok actually i think i blogged about this already in the last post* ok the FIIM project was quite a disaster. we handed it up like 13 hours late, and that number doesnt even represent the total number of hours i slept over the weekend in total.
but i did it. i survived on:
1.5-2hours of sleep on friday night, woke up for training, rushed to church for combined meeting, and finally staggered home at like 9+. combined meeting was really good though. it was truly a blessing, and a time of upliftingg to see other youth groups so faithful, and how much effort they take to reach out. compared to our almost non-existent efforts. the bonding over games at west coast was good as well. but i nearly died. slacked throughout captain's ball, rounders, and their version of 'capture the flag'. tried to play a bit of ultimate too but there were too many pple who don't really know how to play. actually i dun think i can enjoy ultimate at a recre level because i just dunno what to do when it degenerates to captain's ball. but then again, that was pretty much how we played in JC as well, just that the guys were so good at it there weren't so many turnovers. but i like the way ultimate is played in the proper way, the concept's so different. pulled my thigh muscle for the first time in a long long time during the 1st go-to drill in the morning, and couldnt run much in the afternoon after that. maybe i'm getting more unfit.
fell asleep from 12midnight till 3am on sat night on the sofa. was so tempted to go sleep properly but i dragged myself to the comp to work on the stupid report and before i knew it, it was time to go to church. wanted to cry when i was sitting at the piano during choir practice. i was so exhausted my brain couldnt keep up with the song, and i couldnt turn the pages at the right times and couldnt remember the bars on the next page. seriously panicked cos there as a presentation, but thank God that while playing during the service, i just trusted that God will glorify himself regardless of how unworthy i was. i remembered the RPG reading a few days/weeks ago about how the Morse guy was so humble in thinking that he was merely the instrument which God was pleased to use to reveal the 'technology' to man. and his first message sent was 'what God hath wrought'. i'm glad that i felt at peace throughout the service, and i didn't fall asleep. haha.
it was karen's birthday on monday! so after church we went to fish and co at IMM. itwas a nice big family gathering (: but the clock was ticking and the project was almost due. owellz. that nite, i happilywent to sleep at 11plus, telling my mum to wake me up at 12 the next day. but it was not to be. the final outcome was that we handed the proj in like 13 hours late. after jm called me up at lik 6am, and actually came over to my place to print the report and do the ppt. owellz
we just presented, and actually i typed the bulk of this post in class. the Q and A went so badly. but at least 1 proj's over.tomm's IE presentation, and monday coy law.
the week is far from over.
"My grace is sufficient for you... My strength is made perfect in weakness..." ok Lord, i'm counting on you...
last weekend was pure madness, i'm rather proud of the fact that i survived it actually. but come to think of it, it's probably not by my own strength because i could never last so long. last week was pretty mad, but i still managed to sleep about 4-5 hours a day, which of cos left me feeling very drained towards the end of the week. *ok actually i think i blogged about this already in the last post* ok the FIIM project was quite a disaster. we handed it up like 13 hours late, and that number doesnt even represent the total number of hours i slept over the weekend in total.
but i did it. i survived on:
1.5-2hours of sleep on friday night, woke up for training, rushed to church for combined meeting, and finally staggered home at like 9+. combined meeting was really good though. it was truly a blessing, and a time of upliftingg to see other youth groups so faithful, and how much effort they take to reach out. compared to our almost non-existent efforts. the bonding over games at west coast was good as well. but i nearly died. slacked throughout captain's ball, rounders, and their version of 'capture the flag'. tried to play a bit of ultimate too but there were too many pple who don't really know how to play. actually i dun think i can enjoy ultimate at a recre level because i just dunno what to do when it degenerates to captain's ball. but then again, that was pretty much how we played in JC as well, just that the guys were so good at it there weren't so many turnovers. but i like the way ultimate is played in the proper way, the concept's so different. pulled my thigh muscle for the first time in a long long time during the 1st go-to drill in the morning, and couldnt run much in the afternoon after that. maybe i'm getting more unfit.
fell asleep from 12midnight till 3am on sat night on the sofa. was so tempted to go sleep properly but i dragged myself to the comp to work on the stupid report and before i knew it, it was time to go to church. wanted to cry when i was sitting at the piano during choir practice. i was so exhausted my brain couldnt keep up with the song, and i couldnt turn the pages at the right times and couldnt remember the bars on the next page. seriously panicked cos there as a presentation, but thank God that while playing during the service, i just trusted that God will glorify himself regardless of how unworthy i was. i remembered the RPG reading a few days/weeks ago about how the Morse guy was so humble in thinking that he was merely the instrument which God was pleased to use to reveal the 'technology' to man. and his first message sent was 'what God hath wrought'. i'm glad that i felt at peace throughout the service, and i didn't fall asleep. haha.
it was karen's birthday on monday! so after church we went to fish and co at IMM. itwas a nice big family gathering (: but the clock was ticking and the project was almost due. owellz. that nite, i happilywent to sleep at 11plus, telling my mum to wake me up at 12 the next day. but it was not to be. the final outcome was that we handed the proj in like 13 hours late. after jm called me up at lik 6am, and actually came over to my place to print the report and do the ppt. owellz
we just presented, and actually i typed the bulk of this post in class. the Q and A went so badly. but at least 1 proj's over.tomm's IE presentation, and monday coy law.
the week is far from over.
"My grace is sufficient for you... My strength is made perfect in weakness..." ok Lord, i'm counting on you...
Friday, March 16, 2007
you know you're wayy too tired when...
you expand much effort is trying to get a seat on the train, and falling soundly asleep straight after, waking up just in time to make the switch at jurong east, scramble onto the next train and fall asleep again...
i hardly ever use up all the 4 rides i have a day on the train consession. today, i broke the record. did some mad trans-island travelling today, with lots of mad rush, and the madness is still not over.
the rather good morning (and i really mean morning cos i was actually awake since 7...) was only spoilt by the impatient woman in the toilet at raffles place mrt. after 1 min she was complaining that the pple in the cubicles were taking too long (in english and chinese) and then she called them chickens, laying eggs inside... then 'giving birth ah', and then 'wah, so long, half an hour already still inside'. it's ridiculous man! in the first place, there were other cubicles empty, before i went in, and after i came out. i think she's just mad.
tonight's gonna be a long night. gonna finish the FIIM proj because i don't have time this weekend and it's due on sunday. i really relish the thought of going back to school on sunday just to submit it. it'll be the 3rd time in history for me (the first being vivace and the 2nd was for some FA meeting).
i hope i make it for tomorrow's trng. really tempted to skip but i have to force myself la. i remember committing to go last year during the camp, but i've not been keeping that commitment too well. and i believe that the enjoyment of a sport is directly proportional to how well you do in it.
ok, now for the FIIM project that's due on sunday and barely started... oh man, i'm so dead.
i hardly ever use up all the 4 rides i have a day on the train consession. today, i broke the record. did some mad trans-island travelling today, with lots of mad rush, and the madness is still not over.
the rather good morning (and i really mean morning cos i was actually awake since 7...) was only spoilt by the impatient woman in the toilet at raffles place mrt. after 1 min she was complaining that the pple in the cubicles were taking too long (in english and chinese) and then she called them chickens, laying eggs inside... then 'giving birth ah', and then 'wah, so long, half an hour already still inside'. it's ridiculous man! in the first place, there were other cubicles empty, before i went in, and after i came out. i think she's just mad.
tonight's gonna be a long night. gonna finish the FIIM proj because i don't have time this weekend and it's due on sunday. i really relish the thought of going back to school on sunday just to submit it. it'll be the 3rd time in history for me (the first being vivace and the 2nd was for some FA meeting).
i hope i make it for tomorrow's trng. really tempted to skip but i have to force myself la. i remember committing to go last year during the camp, but i've not been keeping that commitment too well. and i believe that the enjoyment of a sport is directly proportional to how well you do in it.
ok, now for the FIIM project that's due on sunday and barely started... oh man, i'm so dead.
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